Dating in your 60s? You bethca!
Today’s Baby Boomer generation is bucking all aging trends, reinventing the stereotypes of the generations before them, as usual.
Even just a few decades ago, dating during the retirement years was not quite taboo but certainly not all that common.
However, today’s older adults are ready to spend their golden years with someone they love or simply searching for it through dating.
What Are the Odds of Finding Love After 60?
Considering jumping back into the dating pool in your retirement years, or if you’ve been in the dating game for a while and are wondering why you aren’t having better luck?
It is important to remember that there are plenty of others in the dating pool with you.
The Boomer generation had higher rates of separation and divorce than the generation before them, leaving a higher number of single men and women after the age of 60.
Research published in Innovation in Aging reports that nearly 33% of men and women over the age of 60 are unmarried for one reason or another.
While some are widowed, there are others who have been married and divorced twice before entering their retirement years.
No matter the reason, there is a good chance to find love among your single peers.
It’s important to note, though, that the Boomer generation is less likely to get married in retirement. Instead, many opt for companionship via cohabitation or living together.
This is another paradigm shift in the generations that came before them and is likely to continue as more generations age without having a need to officially marry.
But finding love isn’t all about marriage. It’s about companionship and friendship for most older adults.
Can You Really Fall in Love in Your 60s?
You can absolutely fall in love in your 60s and beyond, but it might be much different than you remember from your earlier years.
Both men and women in retirement describe themselves as “pickier” than they were in their earlier years when it comes to finding a relationship.
They have lived full lives with career achievements, family obligations, and nurturing relationships and are less likely to “settle” for a partner that is not quite good enough.
Falling in love also means you are having luck in the dating pool.
Older women tend to have a more difficult time with finding dates and starting relationships, as women simply live longer than men so there are more men than women which can make options slim.
However, while it might initially seem like the odds are stacked against you, older adults are also more likely to know themselves which can lead to a better relationship.
Retired adults know what they are looking for, as well as how to make changes to keep a relationship strong.
After decades of experience being married or in a relationship, falling in love can be even easier when you know how to cultivate a healthy relationship as you bring the other person into your life.
Where to Find a Date
Many older adults tend to find dates more traditionally, via being set up by a friend or striking up a conversation with someone at a group outing, club, or activity.
Older adults are more likely to begin dating after finding someone that shares a similar hobby, passion, or that are from comparable walks of life. Some seniors try speed dating too.
Now that you have more time to spare in your calendar since you have downsized your work responsibilities in retirement, you can fill that time with new social opportunities.
You can find potential partners at your Zumba class, your art workshop, or your post-church fellowship group.
You can also connect with others who might even set you up with a friend down the road.
Even if you don’t get any dinner invitations from your new social calendar, you surely will meet plenty of new friends and feel more connected to your peers which will lead to positive health outcomes for yourself.
Online Options for Dating Over the 60s
If you’re ready to venture into the world of online dating, there are other older adults waiting for you there as well.
Give yourself plenty of grace and patience as you learn how to effectively and safely online date, as it is a new skill for many over the age of 60.
Don’t be afraid to ask friends for advice or even consult your children or grandchildren for tips on creating a profile and meeting up safely with potential partners.
Older adults are more than welcome to join traditional dating sites like eHarmony, Match.com, or OK Cupid.
However, if you are looking to narrow down your search by age or other specifications, you can find other dating sites as well.
For example, OurTime is an online dating site and app that is geared specifically for those over the age of 50.
SilverSingles and SeniorMatch are also designed to meet the needs of the retirement crowd and can offer you a way to connect with others who have a similar life experience as you.
No matter what online site you choose to use, it is important to refine your search so that you are clear with what age group you are looking for.
Use online dating profiles as a guide as you look for potential dates, and don’t be afraid to use the dating site to send emails in order to get to know others.
Asking personal questions about their thoughts on a committed relationship or romantic relationship upfront via a message can help you narrow down your choices and decide who you want to meet in person.
Make the most of your time getting to know potential dates by cutting right to the chase and skipping inane questions.
If you are LGBTQ+, you can also find a wide pool of potential partners on any of these online dating sites, though you can also use sites that cater specifically to LGBTQ+ adults.
It’s okay to try a few sites as well so that you can find which one fits your style the best
What are Some Tips for Dating in Your 60s?
Dating over the age of 60 is very similar to what you remember from your earlier years, with a few differences since you are dating people who know themselves and what they are looking for (unlike many 20-somethings).
Here are a few tips to make dating effective, safe, and fun.
1. Meet in a safe public location
If you are meeting someone you met online or have never met in person before, meet in a safe and neutral location like a coffee shop or park.
Make sure you have told a friend where you will be and what time you expect to return home.
These safety tips are especially prudent for a single woman, though they are good rules of thumb for anyone of any age or gender.
2. Don’t give out personal info
Never give personal information, like your address, to strangers on the internet, even if you have been corresponding online for some time.
3. Be realistic with expectations
Keep expectations hopeful but realistic. Remember that the adult life dating world is full of ups and downs, no matter your age.
4. Be honest and upfront about your goals
. If you are looking to just date around, that is great! Just be honest.
Seeking a fun travel partner to see the world with? Great! Be honest.
Looking for something more serious? That’s great too. Be honest about it with your dates.
5. Have “the talk” early on
Remember that the sex lives of your potential partner and yourself should line up as much as possible. Have that conversation before things get too serious so that everyone is on the same page.
6. Don’t compare your dating experience with that of your other single friends
Everyone has a different experience in the dating world and not everyone has a similar picture about what a successful couple should look like.
7. Don’t be afraid of an age difference.
It could be worth it to explore dating an older man or younger woman (or vice versa). Happy couples are not always in the same age demographic, and that is okay.
8. Don’t rely on married friends to give you advice
Remember that your friends who have been married for decades can be an excellent support system for you, but might not be the best to give advice about dating since they haven’t dated for years.
9. Focus on your profile
If you are going to try out online dating, take time to make your profile look its best.
Skip posting a horrible photo or blurry photo for your profile and instead choose a few pictures where you look genuinely happy and yourself. Not sure which photo to use? Call your granddaughter for advice.
10. Ask other singles for tips
Ask others where to meet potential partners. For example, older gay men often find it difficult to find potential partners since gay bars or establishments do not necessarily cater to their age group.
Ask around to your friends or others who have been on the dating scene for a while where you can find other singles.
The single life doesn’t have to feel lonely, but if you are seeking a partner to travel with, hike with, and simply share life with, dating can be an excellent way to meet new people while having a bit of fun.
You might even feel younger as you explore online dating and re-enter the world of blind dates and friend set-ups.
Have fun, be safe, and don’t worry about a curfew!
Dating in your 60s? Have you tried it? Share with us your experience below!
Haley has been working with seniors and their caregivers for more than 17 years. She has held local and national leadership roles in a variety of senior services and senior care agencies. Today, she is a sought after writer specializing in topics for older adults, their family members, and professional caregivers. When she isn’t at her computer sipping coffee, you can find her hiking with her husband, son, and dog or trying a new cookie recipe in the kitchen. Follow her on LINKEDIN. Read her LATEST POSTS. Learn more about her HERE.